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You Don't Dress Up To Play D&D

from Songs in the Key of D&D by Amy Vorpahl

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about

I remember being specifically told not to write a rap. And yet, here we are. Nobody puts Vorpahlsword in a corner. This one is all about the misconceptions and general confusion about D&D from non-RPG-players. It was so fun to play with words, rhymes and rhythm in this one, and Maxi killed it with his fun additions and overall production. It's my favorite song to listen to on the album (shh, don't tell the other songs).

lyrics

Yo is that a card game, people wanna know
They got kids who play pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh
Those games don’t cut it, I ain’t trying to be cold
But when it comes to fun, that ain’t what I get up fo’
Not gonna let you finish, take a minute, set you straight
So the next conversation you sound like you got some brains
We ain’t a bunch of losers in a basement, mmk? (mmk)
Dungeons and Dragons ‘more a party than a game

Stay right there lemme answer your questions
I’ll clear up all your misconceptions X2

You don’t dress up to play D&D
You don’t dress up to play D&D
You don’t dress up to play D&D
Unless you want to… like me X2

D to the U to the N geon - S
A to the N to the D
D to the R to the A GON - S
D to the and to the D

Magic the Gathering is what you’re thinking of ain’t ya
It’s cool but requires too much deck maintenance
D&D doesn’t need any extra training
We use a little thing called imagination
We can do parkour just by saying it
Like I do a double flip off the castle embankment
Unlike Magic, this whole rabbit hole can go wayay down
Till your entire world is freakin Pee Wee’s Play House

Our people at home, when they beg and they plead us
“Do you have to go?” we answer, “Yeah, we must”
It’s true, yes we do eat a lot of pizza--I tell
you, for a group, ‘s’no better way to feed ya
We put away food like an army of people
We keep eating snacks even after we feel full
Could stay up playing all night with a Redbull
But if we get tired, we just stop cause we adults!

Stay right there lemme answer your questions
I’ll clear up all your misconceptions X2

You don’t dress up to play D&D
You don’t dress up to play D&D
You don’t dress up to play D&D
Unless you want to… like me X2

You don’t think we fancy, let me teach you about class
Priest, Fighter, Rogue, Caster’ll kick your ass
You don’t think we street, look at this table full of vice
You don’t think we hard, just touch my dice
You don’t think we can get it, eff the birds and the bees
I’m a palad-in the streets but a thief in the sheets
My character sheets ‘cause they full to the brim
With maxed out stats out to eff with my DM
He thinks he in charge but we don’t worry bout him
‘Cept for when he out to get us, be like “check to swim.”

Master Player, Traitor, Master Creator,
Look at me, Master NPC Generator
Just cuz she’s your master doesn’t mean you has-ta hate her
I got a boy, I don’t need to be no master-LATER
I don’t care if over there your character is dying
Cause it’s just like baseball--there’s no crying!
You wanna join in? Now you start realizing?
We’re the cool cool nerds. Call me Neil deGrasse Tyson (Tyson)

D to the R to the A GON - S
D to the and to the D

The Dungeon Master sets up a scenario
Then he or she asks, where would you like to go
We talk as a group then decide together
There’s no winning, yo, we could play forever!...

Stay right there lemme answer your questions
I’ll clear up all your misconceptions X2

You don’t dress up to play D&D (I wanna play D&D)
You don’t dress up to play D&D
You don’t dress up to play D&D (I wanna play D&D)
Unless you want to… like me X3

credits

from Songs in the Key of D&D, released March 10, 2017
Amy Vorpahl: Writer and Lead Vocals
Maxi Morales: Producer, Arranger, Recording/Mixing Engineer, Guitars, Background Vocals

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Amy Vorpahl image

Amy Vorpahl Los Angeles, California

Amy Vorpahl is an actor, writer, Dungeon Master and songstress! She has been playing D&D since college, and her music is inspired by her many experiences at the table. Amy has written D&D modules for Official D&D (WOTC), Dungeon in a Box, and you can see her DM-ing various places online or through a window from the bushes outside her gaming friend's house! ... more

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